Welcome back brothers!
Last week I started telling you about why I decided to become a Life Coach focusing on menswork.
I think that a very crucial and hurtful challenge for me growing up was dealing with being treated differently….and badly by others due to me being very sensitive. At a young age I thought I was just like everyone else, assuming everyone was the same. But how wrong I was….
Sensitive people are always perceived as weaker whether male or female. The difference being that females are more supportive and, in my opinion, naturally sensitive due to their nurturing instincts. Men on the other hand are hunters and don’t understand how to emotionally support their fellow brothers.
I think that men are inherently born with a sensitive side but gets pushed aside as a sign of weakness. ‘Big boys don’t cry’ comes to mind when thinking of this. How many of you out there heard these exact words spoken to you?
My fathers’ generation and the generations before them would’ve slowly tried to remove their sensitivity in order to produce fighters and warriors to go out and fight for their families etc. Boys growing up would be trained to fight, defend, and defeat!
But as the world evolved and generations changed how they saw the world, somehow the lessons and training from father to son stayed the same as generations before. This was fine in principle but with the advent of the technology revolution men were suddenly a lot busier and still tried to treat all situations with attack, defend and defeat. All well and good to a point but what happened when a young boy who only knows how to fight and defend suddenly needs to deal with a deeper issue in his life. Does he run back to dad who says toughen up boy! Or back to mom but then run the risk of being called a mommy’s boy in dads’ eyes?!
As boys our relationship with our fathers are key to our development as we become men. But what happens when this fails or doesn’t happen at all? My father’s father was a strict disciplinarian who showed no mercy let alone any form of sensitivity. If you need a shoulder to cry on use moms!
Mothers and sons have special and integral relationships that make us feel loved and cared for but why does this not come from dad? Probably because that’s what his dad did to him…
I believe we have created a generation of men who have been taught to toughen up, harden up and ignore their emotions. When hitting the real world after leaving the family nest it’s a huge shock when something happens that affects our emotions?! Geez dad didn’t say anything about this?? Do I speak to mom?? Is it ok to feel like this?? Will people laugh at me…will dad???
A more emotionally mature man will be in a far better position to deal with what life throws at him from life lessons to work and relationships.
These are my opinions based on my life journey through the eyes of a highly sensitive man…something quite rare from what I have experienced.
I will definitely go into more detail on this subject as it was a huge turning point in my life when I realised being different was a ‘calling’ and a reason to help others like me but to also try reach others who are struggling in their lives.
Think about the relationship you had with your dad?
Drop me a DM or email me through my website and let me know?
…remember DON’T be AVERAGE….
Regards,
Joe. Blogs
